Real Hounds
by O Mayari
Summary: In the summer of 1966, the Black children meet a most remarkable guest.


12 Grimmauld Place, London  
5 August 1966

Darling Cissy,

Today a very stupid Mulch left a handkerchief on a window box that peeks into the garden. Burgie roared at him to get out & said never would he or his darken her door again, then we all had to sit down to an absolutely silent meal because the slightest thing would set her off about youthful carelessness & the decline in old families & takeover by ANIMAL filth, etc. Ignatius Prewett tried to calm her down by speaking of how one must keep to the old diets & eat nothing but pumpkin products to maintain peak magical perfection (Drom: Inter-esting, this must be why Lucretia married him), & Burgie said well I suppose I'm a BEAST without my sausages.

I will never get like that; if I do we know the magic letters are A & K. Do the honors if you must.

Dolph & Rab are here every day although we hardly want them. I've had to turn Dolph down twice. At one point Snuff cornered him & said, She cannot be an Unspeakable & have a silly little husband dithering about. Go find someone of your own LOW CALIBER, Rottodolphus.

Clever boy! He was frightfully angry & demolished some of my hatpins for some reason, but I couldn't stay angry after he'd leSacked Mr. leStrange. Your little sheik is alright I think but rather quiet, the male thinks he's stupid. Poor dear there is one every generation these days, it's the lack of pumpkin or so I hear. Well I'm off to dinner. Bella

[oh I must add an edit] The Malfoys came by & Lucius asked after you. Dromda: Oh, she couldn't be here because she had to do her Hogwarts shopping, the silly little thing still hasn't grown enough to fit into mine & Bricks's old robes. She will probably sort Hufflepuff anyway. Lucius: I think not. All accounts suggest she's finally growing into her blood!  
He still finds you divine, aren't you lucky. He's nice as ever but you know I think rather boring, came with Burgie's friend who is called VOLDEMORT can you imagine. The male didn't like it because it sounds foreign but oh Cissy there is a wizard.

* * *

12 Grimmauld Place, London  
5 August 1966

Derest Blonty,

We had an awfuly odd gest today Snufels says to say o not your pompus malfoe. It was a frend of Burjes who mit be french but Burje says you noe not so bad for a frog & he has the rit ideis. Snufels made a sekrit sossiaty the VYKNGS I am in it so is Creechr we had a mishun to get Bibe's pins. Then Snufels got in truble for puting them into fier & cudint come down to meet the gests but I cud. wel he had a snak & the snak was eksitting so was the food PUMMPINCAK. that is the best. It is gud as Creechr.  
love love love love love your faverit baby BEE

ps Drops says you will be in huflpuf nekt month you are a soft tuch. oh Blonty DONT!

psps dont foreget my birday

* * *

12 Grimmauld Place, London  
6 August 1966

Wuh:

Writing because Burgie is making me. you like to see me more than you like reading these boring old letters, admit. admit. Do you see I've shortened your nickname it is less mean that way Drops said you cried when you heard what I was calling you oh what a way to let down the family, Wuh. Here is a clipping from the Prophet:

FAIR-HAIRED WITCH MURDERED BY MAD RELATIONS

This morning the lovely Ms. Narcissa Black who is blonde and not Black at all, did discover that in fact her real father was Abraxas Malfoy. She burst into a torrent of tears as this would make it illegal for her to marry her beloved, the very boring Lucius Malfoy, of Wiltshire.  
"But, but our children will be ever so pure that way," she wailed, "And at least I'm not a half-blood!"  
Although Ms. Black's mad aunt Walburga agreed, and was now seven million percent in favor of the match because she has always declared that siblings ought to marry one another or possibly merge into one perfect pure being, her sisters and terribly handsome cousin Sirius could not stand the noise and so they administered the Killing Curse as she wept. All the family will be taken to Azkaban soon except for little Regulus, who is very dull and whom raiding Aurors mistook for an antimacassar.

Like Dropsbody says when all her friends are by, YOU MUST SAY ITS CLEVER. Burgie will send stinging hexes my way when she reads it though oh well Bibby says hounds are not afraid of stings. Probably in a few years I will be as funny as Bibby and the toast of Slytherin like Drops. Probably you will be a Hufflepuff. You ought to leave when they sort you there, do not worry soon after we will send Araby to you via owl post since he will be a Hufflepuff too. You can both live in a tiny cottage in DISGRACE.

Thanks for the six sickles. Cheered me up when I couldn't even go meet the snake man did you hear. What a shame. I love snakes, I'm sure we would have been friends. Love from Snuffles the Great

* * *

12 Grimmauld Place, London  
9 August 1966

Nar here I am writing to you at last:

No reason to write, really. I don't think anyone here is dead, except maybe 2 who never says anything except to his nursemaid elf, what a bore I hate children. Either they fail to entertain one (2) or one must entertain them if they are not to blow up the house (Snuff). Snuffles is permanently angry about something, Burgie is proud & says it is only his personality, what a delight the child is. Did you hear he shortened your nickname to WWH and now just says Wuh? I expect he is a lazy sort.

My friend Elty left some parchment on a window box & Burgie swore to ban everyone from visits but I talked her down to just the Mulches. Even that is silly but I suppose it's better here than home, Bricks & I have started taking detours to Bully's place in Knockturn whenever we're out & this lovely fellow who went to school with Burgie & Lucretia has his headquarters nearby. He left England for a bit to find his wizarding relations, Burgie says in France & that's why he's now called Voldemort. What a story, the male doesn't think it's true but you must say it's a nice bit of fiction to let one have a name like that. I'm sure Lucius has already written to tell you about him, if not probably you are too young & he's bored of you already oh well. You can always marry a Prewett, they ARE hard-up.

My Bricks is gone on Voldemort & you know no one is good enough for her so it is awfully funny. But really he's a wonder, has such big ideas for the Ministry, we told him how one day I will head the MLE & Bricks will take the (& you will have nine million blond tots somewhere in a falling-down house) & he said it suited rather well, the establishment needs people like us. Such a dear, Bricks & I will be going with the Mulches & Tracer & Lectie & Risky & Rab & Dolph & Naughty Nott to a speech he is giving. SPECIAL INVITATION for us, how nice though not really because everyone who is anyone got one. Pity you are too young my Nary-a-sis.

& so sorry to hear of Mum making you go to the Malkins near us, what a HORROR. It is Twilfit & Tattings in London or nothing but I expect Bricks & I will find a way to kit you out properly when we get home. Can you come for 2's birthday? It is the only thing we can get him to talk about, do give the boy that broomstick & I will even charm it so Snuffles can't break it, maybe a hobby will liven 2 up.

Respectfully yrs.  
Yr. disrespectful Meddles

* * *

Alconleigh, Oxfordshire  
11 August 1966

Darlingest and bestest sisters,

Alphard has offered to take me over for Ally's birthday! What a puffskein he is, I do love him. Meds will you charm the broom, really? It cost all my pocket-money though so please nothing experimental.

Lu didn't write. I expect busy with summer work for school & anyway he has to make sure I'm Slytherin which I will be. Though really I don't know why I can't stay home, I have a terror of Hogwarts & to show up in Malkins robes will be the worst, Pug Parkinson will have a field day. Did you know she came by & said Lu named a peacock after her. He told me all his peacocks were to be MINE so that is awfully funny, one tries to like her but whoa is it a losing battle.

I've met Voldemort already because he came by with the Borgins. He tutored Begonia Borgin & the Dolohov boy & took them to Albania. I expect it was extraordinary for them. He is terrific, a real hound. He wrote a pamphlet, Struggles of the Blood. It sounds rather thrilling but Alphard says all sociopolitical hogwash. Still I think I will ask Father to get me a copy unless one of you darlings already has it & is willing to lend to the dear Nar-sis, hint hint. He has foreign relations, but what does that matter. Even if secretly part Grindylow you still only have to hear him talk to know that he is like Lu & us, devoted to the wizarding world.

I will see you lovelies soon enough but now I have to go make sure Pippy feeds Cruppins properly. Bella did you know she's had a litter, you ought to give one to Snuffles. He wrote me the dearest owl, so funny, though Alphard didn't like it & says we ought to encourage him to be nicer to people & that he'll be talking to Burgie about it. I hope I haven't gotten Snuff into trouble, if I have tell him I'm sorry & that I expect he'll be the most successful of us, sure to make his mark on the world by age 20 or so. He is such dear impatient little tyrant I can't think otherwise. Give my love to him & my favorite little Ally.

All my love,  
Nar-Cissy


End file.
